Dappled Light

I worked at a grocery store after graduating from college. I hated it. It wasn't so bad at first. Great benefits, two days off in a row, a 20% discount on food. But all of my shifts were 3-11 pm. I am most definitely not a night person and working late nights was not easy for me. 

After several months of this schedule, I asked my manager for some opening shifts, or even a mid shift. He looked at me blankly then asked me if I had any children. Confused by the question, I replied no. He then told me that many of my other co-workers did have children and that their schedules required them to have opening and mid-shifts. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say that it wasn't fair that I had to close because I didn't have kids. But I didn't. I was afraid to. 

So I left the office, confused and angry and irked at my fellow co-workers. 

Needless to say, I savored my days off. I woke up early with the hopes of cramming in as much fun and relaxation as I possibly could. I'd go for a run. I'd ride my bike. I'd work on a painting. One of my favorite things to do on a nice day was to lay out this old handmade quilt that my boyfriend's mother had made. The quilt was mostly green with some mustard yellow, magenta and some cream colors. It was well worn and had a few small holes in it.

I would lay it out under the oak tree in the front lawn. I'd lay on my back and look up into the branches. I'd take naps there. I'd drink a beer and read a book. I looked forward to this all week at my grocery store job. I'd think about it as I rang up people for their overpriced GMO free, gluten free, organic loaves of bread. Picturing that dappled light dancing on the blanket as I laid there feeling the warm breeze was sometimes one of the only ways I was able to get through those long tiring nights.