Gift + Curse

The first time I became aware of her was in the 8th grade. It was my second day at the new middle school, in the new state. We had moved to our new city about a month before and it was culture shock to me. We had lived in a very white, military community, in Connecticut. My class knew one girl who's first language was Spanish and we were blown away by it. We all thought it was so cool.  The poor girl was constantly asked, "How do you say (insert curse word here) in Spanish?" My first day at this new school, I found myself seated between 3 different languages, not knowing a single word. I was floored. There were kids of all racial backgrounds at this new school. I wasn't afraid, I just wished all the kids at my old school could hear what I was hearing. The following day was a half day of elective classes. This was a year round school which meant we went to school for three months, had a month off, and Wednesdays were half days. We got to choose two elective ...

I remember him being so helpful and understanding. I am not always self sufficient and he was always there for me when I needed a little push. Never angry or in disbelief that an adult woman couldn't speak out when something was wrong with a bill or an order. He would just pick up where I seemed to drop off. Handling situations that made me uncomfortable with no explaining. He just knew. I think about him sometimes when I don't feel understood because sometimes I feel like he has been the only person who has really known me. Sometimes better than I know myself.  I dream about him once in awhile. Often I'm looking in on his life. A life that could have possibly been mine if I had only had the patience for him. A person who I could have had if I had truly understood what it was like for someone to know me.