Gift + Curse

I remember him being so helpful and understanding. I am not always self sufficient and he was always there for me when I needed a little push. Never angry or in disbelief that an adult woman couldn't speak out when something was wrong with a bill or an order. He would just pick up where I seemed to drop off. Handling situations that made me uncomfortable with no explaining. He just knew. I think about him sometimes when I don't feel understood because sometimes I feel like he has been the only person who has really known me. Sometimes better than I know myself.  I dream about him once in awhile. Often I'm looking in on his life. A life that could have possibly been mine if I had only had the patience for him. A person who I could have had if I had truly understood what it was like for someone to know me.

I'll start this blog with a very recent memory. Last Wednesday, December 27th, I watched as my elderly, widowed, neighbor said good-bye to her beloved cat for the last time.  It was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen. I had been helping her bring her cat to the vet's office, and helping her give him medication for about 6 months. He had developed a tumor in his ear canal that was inoperable. It started with his eye not being able to fully open. He lost his appetite too. The vet gave her medication that helped stimulate his appetite, but that eventually stopped working and he started falling over a bit. He hadn't eaten in 2 days when she decided to call Compassionate Care. My phone rang around 9am. I figured she needed me to come over and help her give him his medication. Instead she told me that she had come to the decision to euthanize Britches. Her voice sounded slow and heavy over the phone.  I headed over there around 11 and the neighbo...